A Sunday post? I mean, okay, literally nobody in the entire world has any idea what they are doing these days. Unprecedented times and all.
I haven’t been writing on my regular schedule, mostly because I don’t even know what a regular schedule is anymore. Our days remain structured – bedtime is the same, nutjob puppy needs to get up and be exercised before dawn (okay, that’s slipped a bit), life looks kind of normal. But is it Tuesday? Saturday? I mean who knows and who cares.
I also haven’t been writing as much because suddenly I am overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do. Things I’ve never needed to do before, but that seem extremely pressing now. When I get outside with the puppy after dawn (ahem), I am compelled to weed weed weed. Inside, I’ve broken my house down into small chunks and am, for example, scrubbing the tops of the cabinets.
So I do a freelance job, do a deep cleaning task, do a freelance job, do a deep cleaning task, do a freelance job…all day until bedtime. Fit in meals for the kids and helping them with homework throughout the day. Busy busy busy until sleep.
At the end of all this, my house is going to be immaculate, for the first time in my whole life. But when I run out of things to take a scrub brush to, maybe that’s when the mental breakdown happens? It’s exciting! Who knows what the future will bring!
And then there’s this: how am I supposed to talk about finances right now? Write about putting money into savings or paying down debt when so many people are scrambling, hard? Write about how scared I am that my college and/or job isn’t going to survive this? Write about my new lawn mower, which we budgeted for and I love like a child, but…I mean does that even matter right now?
So here I am, out with the puppy before dawn, and it’s raining hard so even if I could see the weeds, pulling them would be misery; I’m hunkered down under our solar panels (here’s a tip: solar panels are a terrible place to hunker down under in the rain. The drips are randomly placed in time and space so each one is a crappy, sad surprise). I think I’ve only posted once this past week.
But I’m not dead or sick, just…currently uninspired. I feel, maybe like everybody, that if I just had a few more days to get a handle on things, things could be normal. Just a few more days and everything will be clear.
So, I guess, I’ll see you in a few days.